WANTED: ANONYMOUS

Who is this famous Anonymous
Who's written more than any of us?
Though sometimes listed as Anon,
There's nothing he hasn't written on.
Anon is found throughout the ages
In rough broadsides and glossy pages;
Scribbled in grungy bathroom stalls
And chiseled on smooth marble walls.
He's found in all the anthologies.
Who wouldn't want his royalties?

There is a deeply held belief
That he in nothing but a thief.
He sits around and bides his time,
Makes plans to steal another's rhyme,
Puts pilfered lines in his verse chest,
Waits till the poet's put to rest ...
Now that you know, are you distressed?

The time has come to stop this crook
Who's never authored one whole book.
But where to look? Can he be found?
Is he an agent of the underground?
Are his prints on file with the FBI?
Is he some sort of double spy?
Have they been tipped to his M.O.?
And if he's caught, how do we know?
Do you think he'll make a confession?
Say something like, "I've learned my lesson."
Or just deny it? Say he's been framed?
Can he be charged if he's unnamed?

Anonymous, this may be true,
But now we've got our eyes on you.
Now poets everywhere will look
Closely at lines in every book
And think, "Where'd he steal this one from?"
Anonymous, you thieving scum,
You rhyming cheat, you scheming schmuck,
You've just about run out of luck.