TO CHARLIE CLEARVIEW,
THANKS FOR THE MEMENTO MORI
The morticians didn't have much to do
To Charlie Clearview.
He'd jogged each day, lifted weights, ate right,
Slept well each night.
The open casket showed a handsome man,
Muscular and tan;
His always stylish-hair was just in place;
Soft smile on his face.
He'd lived his biblically allotted years,
Yet still there were tears.
Perfectly preserved, we lowered him down
Into holy ground.
Graveside I stood, hungover from the wake;
Those shots were a mistake.
It seems I'd be the better candidate--
Got bad gums, glum moods, high triglycerides;
Yet he, not me, died.
The morticians will have a lot to do
To me, it's true.
No doubt the damage I have done will show
That it was past time to go.
This body's already somewhat decomposed ...
Just keep my casket closed.